Need some advice on teenagers quick.?

My boyfriends 14 year old sister has moved in with us a couple weeks ago. She has been through a lot in her life that no teenage girl should have to go through, and if we didn't offer a place for her to live, she would have ended up in a group home. I am thrilled to have her here, I think she is one of the sweetest girls ever, however, I need some advice on what to expect. I have two young kids of my own, I go to school part-time and work part time. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can bond with her a bit more, and enforce reasonable rules.


I should also add, that she has been bounced around 4 houses in the past year, because of sexual abuse, that had happened again recently.


Thank youNeed some advice on teenagers quick.?
As a foster parent I have worked a lot with kids and teens who have suffered sexual abuse and who have been moved from house to house. I work full time so I'm probably home about as little as you are.





the first recommendation I would have is to set up some ground rules. Have her help you with the rules. Sit down with pen and paper and make up both rules and consequences that you can both agree on. Both of you sign and date it. That will prevent problems in the future.





Also... be careful with the sexual abuse things. People who have been sexually abused often end up sexually abusing others. Since you have two young children of your own, you need to be aware of this. One rule might be that whenever she is in a room with one of your children the door must be open. I wouldn't ever leave her home alone with your children.





As far as bonding goes.... make her feel needed. Ask if she likes to cook and share that responsibility. Let her make the side dishes or dessert while you make the main course. Take her out to do something she enjoys. Play 20 questions to get to know each other better. The main thing is - you need to earn her trust. She needs to know that she can come to you and talk about things and you not repeat them. That's hard to do. When she does things that make you so mad you could spit nails - she can't find out that you're telling your boyfriend or anyone else. She needs to feel that it's just been the two of you or she won't feel confident coming to you with issues in the future.Need some advice on teenagers quick.?
Make her comfortable and make sure she feels at home. Assure her that everything will be okay while she lives with you.