Teenager advice?

i have a 15 yr old da.. last night, i put all phones away, at 9:30..house rule, no calls after that point...its always been that way..found out this morn that my dau got one of the cell phones was on it for 2 hrs during the night, and when i asked her about it, she lied to me, said it wasnt her...after talking about trust and yada yada, she then told me it was her...1st she broke the rule, snuck and was on the phone...then 2nd, she lied to me about it..the only reason she told me was cause i said i was calling the cell phone co and finding out the last # called, so she knew she was busted...any advice on fitting punishment??Teenager advice?
I think you need to accept that your daughter is growing up. By being too authoritarian, you are actually encouraging lying.





Because you are too strict (by your own admission) your kids will lie to you to avoid punishment. They will also be afraid to confide in you, which will result in them doing things behind your back.





Rules and boundaries are important. But there has to be some flexibility.





In this case you could ground her from the phone, but will this mean she will end up sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend? Wouldn't you rather her be on the phone with him for two hours, rather than sneaking out of the house without your knowledge to meet with him?





Equally, if you ground her and prevent her seeing her boyfriend, there is another force pushing her to do it behind your back.





Why not just give her some extra chores or cut her allowance for breaking the house rules? Just be careful about blowing this up out of proportion.Teenager advice?
I have this same problem. Had a little set to just last night over the very same thing. Our deadline is 10pm, though.





Any infraction of cell phone usage rules results in a week without the cell phone.





I've rarely had to enforce it. They die at the thought of not having their phone, and understandably so. It's a key part of being able to access their social network.
i would say you are a little to strict but they are your rules. you got to remember when you was that age and when you had a boy friend. i wouldnt ground her or take the phones, but be stern on not using the phone after 9:30.
ground her 4 a month then she won'y do it again and take her cell away 4 that month 2
I agree with ZCT you are being a little too strict with your daughter and u got to accept the fact that your daughter is growing up but you also must believe in yourself for teaching your daughter what is right and wrong but life can't be perfect so give her a small punishment and later on she will realize the way you feel but if she doesn't then its her fault not yours because you have tried your best and fulfilled your role as a mom and so now you know what to do. Can't say it will be easy but you can at least try.
I'm new to the group. I have a 13 yr old dau. Went thru a very rough year %26amp; now I homeschool her. We made an agreement as my goal was for her to be responsible and not lie 2 me. She may have the phone from 9-11pm if she does all her schoolwork, has cleaned her room, and was not rude that day. She now knows it is up to her if she gets the phone at night, so I'm not the ';bad guy';. If she lies again or sneaks I would let her know ahead of time the phone will be taken for 2 days. Will not work for all, but has worked pretty well for us. You're not 2 strict - you are trying to protect your child %26amp; teach her - that's your job, embrace it!


-Dara
*Sighs* We are freaking rebelious WOMAN!





We hate rules, so don't lay them on thick.





Personally I don't see what the big deal is if she is talking on the phone after 9:30, sure the lying but what the hell who am I decided I am only 15.





Point being the more you restrict her the more you will piss her off, then the more rebellious she will be and then the more she will resent you later in life.





so don't punish her and just tell her you will let her go this time, next time she is grounded.





but seriously the phone rule is ******* stupid.
Coming from a 13 year old this probably doesn't mean much but I would say: tell her to focus on her school work throughout the week then let her do what she wants on weekends....that is what my parents do and it works out well.......