im 20 now and started drinking at 15... while i looke back and see that it wasnt the most sensible thing, nothing at the time was going to stop me doing it. Im not a problem child but just always fully enjow the company of friends. My dad realised this and while i never adnitted to my drinking... he always told me just to be carefull and not to do anything dangerous and this was probably the only and best thing he could say to me. While every child is different and you yourself need to make a judgement on your son... just be aware he is most probably going to do it whether u like it or not. the teenage years isnt about making ur children not doing silly things... but rather making sure those silly things that the will definatly do wont affect the rest of their lifeWhat's your advice on talking to your teenager who's starting to drink at parties who's only 14?
well a 14 year old should not be at a party inless it is supervised.My Daughter will be 15 in may and she is not aloud to even date yet.If we would let her it will be supervised.You can ask the cops if they have any Movies that you can watch with them or even the EMT and paramedic will have some and show them what drinking does to you.
Just take things away from like maybe a play station....This is From When I was 14 and my mom caught me drinkin.....Everytime they come home look them dead in the eyes and i swear it works everytime cause it scares u and makes u not want to get drunk knowin that when u get home ur rents are going to b waiting for you...It really works try it!
My advice is to catch this child in the act. Then sign them up for AA classes - either AL-teen or whatever. Take them to your local police precinct and show them pictures of alcohol related traffic deaths. Contact Dare contact MADD. Statistics show that children who start drinking before the age of l6 become emotionally retarded. This child is in the middle of puberty and his/her body does not need the extra chemicals in the alcohol. This is the most serious parenting problem you can face- you have to nip it in the bud. I pray you are early enough. My mother used to say - the reason God made babies so cute was so that we wouldn't kill them when they were teenagers. Middle school children are the worst. This child (if kept on a tight reinand made to face consequences for their actions) will begin to straighten up in high school. You may be in for a rough ride for a few years - best of luck- If the child continues to drink I would have them arrested before I would face the possibility of identifying them at the morgue. Sorry to be so blunt -k-
This is a hard one. I'm 14 and almost everyday I hear of another classmate, even friends, trying alcohol and/or drugs.
Perhaps you should try spending more time with him/her and don't let them go to parties w/o knowing what type of supervision there will be.
A lot of the times it will say ';adult supervision'; of the invitation, only to be an older sibling around 16 yrs. It happens A LOT.
Teenagers these days.. they are different. It scares me because I see it so much, and it's expected of me to join in.
Good luck to you.
Relate to them horror stories of kids that age who died of alcohol poisoning.
Easy. Tell them to Stop.
bring her father to court over it.
As you mention parties in the plural it is also quite obvious that you yourself have been delinquent with regards to having concern for the circle of friendships your 14 year old has acquired.
Parents must be continually aware of the friendships their child developes with others every bit as much as if those friendships were their own.
There is no specific age when a child will sample alcohol, smoking tobacco products and using drugs. Parents can only wish they have done the right thing for their children during their growing years but wishing for it is quite lame and hardly enough because no child is exempt from exposure to these things.
The purest and most understanding children are still exposed to the atrocities in this growing world and face ways of stress that parents never had to deal with in their growing years. Parents cannot raise their children in the same enviorment as when they were kids themselves, it just won't happen with the same results they expect of the children.
Of course, the question of a 14 year old partying is going to draw a lot of attention here. Yet, well supervised parties also have kids lurking in corners or outside the door with added entertainment for those that would dare or feel out of place for not sampling . This will happen and may happen again and again. It's called ';teen pressure'; !
No parent is perfect and no child is perfect, quite obviously. Parents must never cease trying to be role models for their children and must work always to have a strong bonding friendship that their children will turn to.
It is not entirely too late even at age 14 to reach a child bringing worries to mind. This is a critical age for a girl or a boy whom is now reaching out into the world and wanting to fit into it...14 going on 18...!
Disciplining will do more harm than good, I assure you, because they will rebel and grow more distant to the bond you hope to hold with them.
Parental attitude is like a flashing neon sign to a child . Children don't want to hear warnings, negative criticisms, and ';I told you so'; for their failures.
My child rode a bicycle over my favourite fishing rod and broke it in half beyond repair. It was passed on to me from my own dad. In my heart I was furious, but my response to my child was that now I can catch only smaller fish ! Attitude is everything, believe it. If a parent cannot curb their own temper, how can they expect their child to curb their own ?
About ten years later my child gave me a new rod and reel for my birthday. There was a note in the card that read ';Now you can catch the big ones again !';
Scare techniques and threats are a bus ticket for a child to just move on with no concern for what parents may elude to be right or wrong.
The only possible way remaining for a parent to reach their children is to be more involved with less criticism while exhibiting more understanding and compassion.
Parents must develope quality time and activities with children that brings interest to them as a family and not lectures of the do's and don'ts of a society they were not asked to enter.
Trying to separate a child from existing friends by curbing activities will do no more than add peer pressure to the child which then developes a much worse situation in the aftermath. The child will build a wall that a parent cannot climb over and the child will begin to live two lives of which one will be the utmost of rebellion to the parental ideals.
Meanwhile, a parent must use ever un-obscure tool they can to observe children, their activities and their friends. There are many clues for a parent to be watchful of and if not paying attention to these clues the parent has failed.
There is only one proper way to discipline a child and it begins at birth...LOVE ! If somehow something was lost along the way, it is never too late to start over but is certainly too soon to give up...!
You have to 1. punish them when you catch him. 2. educate him on the dangers of drinking early, most literature say the earlier you start too drink the more likely to develop a drinking problem, which will last a lifetime, a hard lifetime.3. Take him to an AA meeting 4.Find out where the parties and make sure those parents know.
Good luck
Why are they going to drinking parties at 14? Do they live alone or something?
My cousins 14, and she drinks at partys
But, i think
That if you let them get it all out of their system earlier
then they mature more as they get older
Im not saying that this isnt a problem
Maybe talk to her, and let her know that you dont approve of her drinking this much
But let her have her time to let go once every month or two months,
Its hard as a parent but
You have to let them make their own mistakes to rectify them in later life.
If they keep drinking? take away their privileges such as getting their learner's permit to drive until they get help.
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